Therapy is expensive.  Popping bubble wrap is cheap.  You choose!

If it looks good, you'll see it.  If it sounds good, you'll hear it.  If it's marketed right, you'll buy it.  But if it's real, you'll feel it. - Kid Rock

When it comes time to die... make sure all you got to do is die.

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.  And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.

There are two things I've learned; there is a God, and I'm not Him.

Learn from the mistakes of others.  You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?

Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.

People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.

Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

A coincidence is when God preforms a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger.

There is a think line between confidence and conceit, no one should ever cross it. - Joshua Chasez

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

A conclusion is what you've come to when you reach the point where you can't think anymore.

God can mend all broken hearts, you just have to give him all the pieces.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.  Watch your words, they become your actions.  Watch your actions, they become a way of life.  Watch your life, it becomes your destiny.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.  Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.  If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time. - Calvin and Hobbes

What we call human nature is actually human habit.

I have studied many times the marble which was chiseled for me.  A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.  In truth it pictures not my destination, but my life.  For love was offered me and I shrank from it's disillusionment; sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid; ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.

Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.  And now I know that we must lift the sale and catch the winds of destiny where ever they drive the boat.  To put meaning in one's life may end in madness, but life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire.  it is a boat, longing for the sea, and yet afraid.

My 3 White Dresses

My mom bought me a white dress,
not red or pink or blue.
She said it was a special dress,
Like very other few
There has been just one before,
A dress now put away,
That I wore some time ago,
Upon my blessing day.
As a little baby clothed,
In my first white dress,
My dad held me in his arms,
There to name and bless.
So pure and clean I was just then
With time to grow and learn
About my Father's plan for me.
My glory I must earn.
Now I've reached the age to judge,
The wrong road from the right,
And I am here to be baptized;
In this dress of white.
So once again, I'm free from sin.
The path is clear to me.
I'll grasp the rod and hold on tight,
I vow with certainty.
Just as mud would stain my dress,
Sin would stain my soul.
The key is to repent or bleach,
For whiteness is my goal.
And if I try my very best,
Then richly blessed I'll be,
Wearing inside God's holy house,
White dress number three.
So today I make this pledge
I'll strive to choose the right,
Through this sacred baptism ordinance,
In my second dress of white.
 -Linda Gay Perry Nelson

I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be the inferior sex.

Love is a great beautifier. - Louisa May Alcott

Being powerful is like being a lady.  If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

I seem to have alot of people inside me. - Dame Edith Evans

Have you ever felt like nobody?
Just a tiny speck of air.
When everyone's around you,
And you are just not there.
 - Karen Crawford.

People see God everyday, they just don't recognize him. - Pearl Baily

When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him. -  Hindu Proverb

Never face facts; If you do you'll never get up in the morning. - Marlo Thomas

Sanity is a cozy lie. - Susan sontag

The truth is friendship is every bit as sacred and eternal as marriage. - Katherine Mansfield

Fill what's empty.  Empty what's full.  And scratch what itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. - Mary Tullis Kunde

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh everyday, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

Macho doesn't prove mucho. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature and another woman to help him forget them. - Helen Rowland

Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: Their measurements are being taken and compared. - Erica Jong

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. - Katherine Hepburn

Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don't give a damn. - Phyllis Diller

A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the mean time that still doesn't mean she can't  have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones. - Cher

Fond as we are of our loved ones, there comes at times during their absence an unexplained peace. - Anne Shaw

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary.
I humbly pray to heaven about that I love the man I marry.
 - Rose Paster Stokes

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night. - Margaret Mead

A woman without a man cannot meet a man, any man... without thinking, even if it's for a half-second, perhaps this is THE man. - Doris Lessing

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes everybody sick. - Mary Wilson Little

To love one who loves you, to admire one who admires you, in a word, to be the idol of one's idol, is exceeding the limit of human joy; it is stealing fire from heaven. - Delphine de Girardin

Tears may be dried up, but the heart - Never.  - Marguerite de Valois

A lady's imagination is very rapid, it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. - Jane Austen

No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get out of it. - Grace Slick

I will make you shorter by a head. - Queen Elizabeth I

Aunt Em,

Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking Dog.

Dorothy

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. - Mae West

We are not amused. - Queen Victoria

Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose. - Agnes Varda

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life. - Glenda Jackson

Never go to bed mad.  Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

Sometimes when I look at my children I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Don't get your knickers in a knot.  Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Katherine Carpenter

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore

Doubt is hell in the human soul. - Contesse Cathrine De Gasparin

Yes, my voices were of God; my voices have not deceived me. - Jeonne d'Arc

Live with wolves, and you learn to howl. - Spanish Proverb

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin

If you don't want to get tackled, don't carry the ball. - Ann McKay Thompson

You never saw a fish on a wall with it's mouth shut. - Sally Berger

Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself. - Doris Lessing

There once was a guy who had a psychic girlfriend, but she dumped him before she met him.

Depression is anger without enthusiasm

Tis easy enough to be pleasant,
when life flows like a song.
But the man worthwhile
is the one who will smile
when everything goes dead wrong.
 - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; but a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down. - Beverly Sills

I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.  If that makes me a bitch, okay. - Madonna

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

It's not what your eating, it's what's eating you. - Janet Greeson

Of course, there's no such thing as a totally objective person, except Almighty God, if she exists. - Antonia Fraser

Take your work seriously, but never yourself. - Dame Fargot Fonteyn

Dogs come when they are called, cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Rap is poetry set to music.  But to me it's like a jackhammer. - Bette Midler

The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word. - Mata Hari

It's sad for a girl to reach the age where men consider her charmless.

But it's worse for a man to attain the age where the girls consider him harmless.

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by  dressing exactly alike.

So much had been said and sung of beautiful young girls.  Why don't somebody wake up to the beauty of old women? - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Age doesn't protect you from love.  But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. - Fran Leibowitz

In youth we learn; in age we understand. - Marie Ebner-eschenbach

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon. - Susan Ertz

Any woman who has a great deal to offer the world is in trouble. - Hazel Scott

I am only one; but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something.  I will not refuse to do something I can do. - Helen Keller

It is not enough to be good if you have the ability to be better.  It is not enough to be very good if you have the ability to be great. - Alberta Lee Cox

Service is like wetting your pants.  Everyone can see what you've done but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.

Worry is like prayer in reverse.

Rich foods are like destiny, they shape our ends

Character is doing what you said, even after the feeling has left you. - Abraham Lincoln

If you knew how hard I have to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem wonderful at all. - Michelangelo

Jesus Christ could not please everyone and neither can anyone else.

Music is the space between the notes. - Claude Debussy

Out on a limb is where the fruit is.

Some people are like blisters, they show up when the work is done.

A study of police records show that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

Education: Learning alot about how little we know.

To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work. - Sister Mary Laureita

Behind every man who
achieves success,
Stands a mother, a wife,
and the IRS
 - Othel Jacobson

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Racher

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. - Sophia Loren

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep.  That's deep enough.  What do you want, an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr

The greatest weapon a face can have - smile. - Helen Hunt Jackson

Don't be humble; you're not that great. - Golda Meir

There were 2 ducks; the female with the brown head and the other with the green head - the unfemale. - Danielle Rettinger, Age 5

The mystery to me is why more people aren't like me. - Florence Kennedy

If thine enemy wrong the, buy each of his children a drum. - Chinese Proverb

Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

Birds sing after a storm, why shouldn't we?

It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen. - Mamie Vandoren

It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men. - Mae West

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable. - Carrie Snow

A testimony is when your heart tells you things your mind doesn't understand. - Harold B. Lee

I have no yesterdays,
time took them away
Tomorrow may not be
But I have today
 - Pearl Y McGinnis

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. - John 15:14

I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on a woman. - Nancy Astar

Oh, Stop Whining. - Paula Whittman

I don't want to spend all of his money, just most of it. - Cheryle Cummings

You are never too young to fall in love and never too old to wish you had. - Carrie Noble

Some people grow old but they never grow up. - Elaine Cannon